Thursday, January 26, 2012

Hello Lover...

Ever stop to think about what role running or triathlon or other such sport plays in your life?  For some it is simply a means to stay fit, 30 minutes of torture so cake can be eaten and beers drank.  To some, it's barely a thought once it's over and done for the day. Some do it in groups and enjoy the social aspect more than the run itself.  That is all well and good.  That is NOT me.
Running (and someday triathlon) is part of my identity. If my day does not revolve around it, then I am thinking about it all day...when will I fit it in, how will the weather be, what shoes will I wear, what did my coach say again?  It's not an obsession.  Really.  I say I think about it all day but sometimes those thoughts are, "ugh, I so don't want to do this today". I must admit for someone who runs as regularly as I do, I am a piss poor planner.  Probably because I have no regularity to my schedule so I can say, "oh, I'll just run later".  Today, later never happened.  Of course, other crises reared their heads during the day which needed attention but in the end I missed my run for no real good reason.  Crap. I can't look it in the eye.  I am ashamed and apologetic.

Recently, I got a tattoo on my neck that had to do with running.  People were a bit shocked but I never had a doubt, never once thought twice about it.  Why is that?  Because of the reasons behind why I got it.  Running has been a part of my life for many years.  In the past year or so, it has been the one constant when everything else was in chaos.  It was dependable, loyal and always gave me a little boost afterward.  I never had to doubt that it would come around or that it would feel at least somewhat good.  It was so normal, so mundane and so comforting.  It was exactly what I needed every time.  It kept me distracted from other problems yet focused on the goal.  It made me take time for me, which was so desperately needed.  It let me escape but always brought me home safe and sound.  Sliding on my running shoes had a familiarity that makes me think of being in the arms of someone you trust with all your heart.

Running has a place in my life much like a lover.  I need to give it attention and be fully in the moment when together.  I have to make it a priority over other things, even when I'd rather be doing those other things.  I communicate with my body much like a loved one...I have to listen carefully, intently.  I make sure I understand to the best of my ability what I'm being told and do my best to follow through.  When it feels good, it feels very, very good and I have a great day.  When it feels awful, I am grumpy, defeated, unsure of myself.  Much like a lover, running has the power to lift me up or tear me down.  I am subject to it's whims and fancies, moods and attitudes.  The run is my partner, we work together toward a common goal and if we don't work together we end up at a standstill.  Running makes me feel strong, lively, womanly and sexy.  It does things to my body that I wish I could replicate...my cheeks flush, my muscles
become flexible, I sweat, my heart races and sometimes I wish it would never end.  Of course, there have been times where running comes before everyone else- the kids, the friends and even those of the opposite sex. I wonder what happens when someone challenges the run, wants my undivided attention in a physial way?  That's a challenge that will be interesting.  I wonder what happens when the run gets jealous?  That could get ugly.

So the next time you lace up your shoes, think about what running is to you.  If you're like me, you look it in the eye, give it a wink and play a little Barry White. Let's Get it On.  


2 comments:

  1. Just came across your blog... always great to meet other running mamas! And I can definitely identify with your sentiments about running. :)

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  2. Just found your blog... I love this post. I need to dedicate more time, focus, and energy to running (working out in general most days) and perhaps treat it more like a lover as you mentioned!!

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